Section I: Briefing

1.) Look downstairs. Are you male or female?
Male
Female
Can't quite figure it out

2.) Are you currently in a relationship?
Yes, with someone of the opposite sex
Yes, with someone of the same sex
Yes, with my right hand
Yes, with my left hand
No, but I get all the benefits
No, dammit, stop making me feel bad

3.) What do you think is the most important part of a relationship?
Commitment
Trust
Care
Love
The naughty stuff

4.) How important do you think sex is in a relationship?
Extremely important
Important but not necessary
Not important at all
Great if you can get it
It's important only if I'm not getting it

5.) How important do you think a relationship is with sex?
Shouldn't have sex when you're not in a relationship
As long as you're not already with someone it's OK
Not important if your current partner isn't fulfilling your needs
Sex and relationships are completely separate entities
I don't enjoy relationships, I just enjoy sex

6.) Which is more important to you in a potential date?
Physical appearance
Intelligence
Sense of humor
Personality
Sex drive
Blonde hair
See-thru clothing

7.) Would you rather have a good looking mate who doesn't like sex, or an unattractive mate who likes it all the time?
Good looks & no sex
No good looks & lots of sex
No good looks, lots of sex, and a makeover
Good looks, no sex, and a love doll
My hand is very reliable so I don't worry about this kinda stuff

8.) You have been seeing someone for a year and they do not want to put out. What is your reaction?
Dump him or her
Persuade him or her
Respect his or her wishes
Seek sexual favors from someone else on the side, secretly
Seek sexual favors from someone else on the side, and tell your partner
Buy sex toys
Buy a RealDoll

9.) How long does it usually take you to reach climax?
Over 30 minutes
10 to 30 minutes
5 to 10 minutes
1 to 5 minutes
Less than a minute
Having one right now

10.) Which do you find more arousing?
Softcore porn
Hardcore porn
Your partner
Your partner, unclothed
Your partner, unclothed, reading you Star Trek novels

11.) What is your favorite color of these choices?
Yellow
Green
Red
Blue
Puce

12.) How old were you when you had your 'first time'?
Haven't had it yet
Under 14
15 to 17
18 to 21
Over 21
In the process right now
Don't remember
Don't remember because I was drunk
Don't remember because I was high
Don't know what you're referring to

13.) What is your reaction to pornography?
It is disgusting
It is a healthy sexual aid
It is something everyone should have access to
It is necessary to human society
I wanna be in it

14.) How often do you view pornography?
Never
Every so often
On a regular basis
Whenever I'm in the mood
How often do I not view it?

15.) Have you ever paid for sex?
Never
From a friend
From a stranger
From a stranger in Los Angeles
From a stranger in New York City

Section II: Agree or Disagree?

16.) "It's not the length, it's not the size, it's how many times you can make it rise."
Agree
Disagree
Huh?

17.) "It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean."
Agree
Disagree
What?

18.) "Nail on board is not good as screw on bench."
Agree
Disagree
You lost me.

19.) "Man who fight with wife all day get no peace at night."
Agree
Disagree
You lost me.

20.) "Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ."
Agree
Disagree
You lost me.

Section III: More Questions

21.) How often do you, take matters into your own hands?
Never
Occasionally
On a daily basis
More than once a day
Whenever my hands are free
What are you talking about?

22.) Have you ever been caught, and if so, what happened?
No
Yes - got freaked out
Yes - didn't mind though
Yes - I enjoyed it
Yes - I had the other person join in

23.) Where is your favorite place to get it on?
Bed
Shower
Jacuzzi
Closet
Bathroom
Kitchen Table
Washing Machine
Automobile
Nude Beach
Public Elevator
Public Beach
Public Bathroom
Public Dressing Room

24.) What is the largest amount of other people you have organized a sex act with at the same time (not including yourself)?
0
1
2
3
4 or more

25.) Last but not least - would you hop in the sack with this person?
I'M A STRAIGHT GUY (or a lesbian)
Nope
Maybe if you get me drunk
Maybe (without being drunk)
Definitely
I am typing with one hand